Cupid's Chokehold
by Alexia-Esco
Summary: Gilbert is the only one out of The Bad Touch Trio that hasn't settled down. But now that he has Madeline that's all about to change. How does he show his friends, family, and Ex that she's the one? Read and find out. Songfic. Genderbents. AU.


Yay! My first songfic! I've had this idea in my head for a few days now. Hopefully it's not that bad. For those of you who don't know me, English is not my first language so I apologize in advance for any grammer or spelling erros. That and my computer has been stuck on Spanish Mode for a few weeks now...

Pairings: PruCan ft. SpaMano, GerIta, UsUk, France x Jeanne, AusHun, and slight Rome x Germania if you squint.

Song: Cupid's Chokehold- Gym Class Heros

NOTE: I DON'T OWN HETALIA OR THE SONG.

* * *

**Cupid's Chokehold**

Ludwig Beilschmidt looked up from his book as he heard someone walk into the room; unsurprisingly it was his older brother, Gilbert.

"Hallo Bruder dearest! The awesomeness has returned!" Ludwig rolled his eyes at his brother's sudden introduction.

"Hallo Gilbert. Where have you been all day?" He asked after putting his book and reading glasses away. Gilbert walked into the living room and sat in the comfy couch near his brother's armchair.

"I was with Birdie." He smiled proudly. Madeline Williams, also deemed as 'Birdie' by Gilbert, was his older brother's current girlfriend.

Ludwig sighed, it had been a while since they'd last spoke of girlfriends and it was really starting to sound like a bad joke to the young German.

The elder proclaimed Prussian sighed as well. He knew what his brother was trying to say without having to ask.

"Ja, ja. I know it sounds so old Luddy, but I swear cupid got me in a chokehold. And this time I'm going to give in. My white flag is waving." He said with shining eyes.

"How do you know she's the one?" Asked Ludwig.

"Do you have something against Birdie? 'Cause she's just as awes-"

"Nein, I don't. But Bruder, you said that about the last one." To that, Gilbert only smiled.

"She makes me pancakes and adds the Alka Seltzer when my tummy aches. If that ain't love, then I don't know what is Luddy." Ludwig pinched the bridge of his nose. That was not what he was expecting. "We even have a secret handshake-"

"It's not the one you tried to teach me when I was a kid is it?" Ludwig interrupted.

"And she loves the music that The Bad Touch Trio makes. Luddy, if I had to choose her over the sun, well then I'd be nocturnal for the rest of my life."

Ludwig could only stare. His brother sounded so honest and never talked about his feelings of love so openly. He smiled, something that was rare for the young German to do; he knew there was a reason he looked up to his brother.

"Not much of a girlfriend though. I never seem to get a lot." Gilbert pouted as he stood up to leave.

"Gilbert!" cried a red-faced Ludwig as his brother hissed his signature laugh out of the room.

* * *

Romulus Vargas stood by the grill as he continued turning steak, corn, and wurst until they were ready. Aldrich Beilschmidt approached his friend with two bottles of ice-cold beers in his hands; he set one down on the small table of raw meats next to the Italian as they stood and watched the seen playing out before them.

Ludwig was attempting to stop his girlfriend Feliciana from getting him wet with a water balloon but failed to see her older sister Lovina aim a balloon that had hit him square in the back of the head. Lovina and Feliciana were Romulus's twin granddaughters. Not wanting to be left out of the fun, Lovina's husband, Antonio Fernandez Carriedo decided to turn the hose on full blast as he sprayed the Italian twins and Ludwig in one go. He received an icy glare from his wife that sent him running around the yard as she followed behind with a water gun she had picked up near the bucket full of water balloons.

"Where's your eldest?" Asked Romulus as he laughed at how much fun the kids were having.

"Knowing him… he's probably looking for the biggest water gun we own." Sighed Aldrich. Sure enough, as soon as he said that, Gilbert stormed out of the house in nothing but a pair of Prussian Flag patterned swim shorts and a very large water gun.

After what seemed like hours, the group of soaking young adults were called over to eat by a very annoyed Aldrich. Gilbert and Antonio had somehow managed to hit him a few times during their water war.

"Where's Birdie, you albino-potato?" Asked Lovina as she took a plate from her grandfather. She gave the vile looking wurst to her trader sister as she sat down next to Antonio.

"She'll be here soon. She said she had something to do with Alfred and Arthur."

"And big brother Francis and Jeanne?" asked Feliciana as she cuddled up to Ludwig.

"They'll be here a bit later as well. Jeanne has an ultrasound appointment." Said a blushing Ludwig as Feliciana pressed against him more.

"Are they all coming?" Asked Romulus as he grabbed another beer.

"Ja! The awesome me invited them!"

"So Gilbert," Started Aldrich. "Who is Madeline to you?"

Gilbert knew that Ludwig had talked to their father about what they had talked about a few days ago. Well at least that he thought Gilbert was getting ready to settle down with his girlfriend Madeline.

"I know it's been a while since we last talked about this, so I'll try not to talk fast 'cause I get so excited just thinking about my Birdie." Gilbert said turning a bit pink at the idea of sharing his feeling again.

The others had stopped eating and were now waiting for Gil to continue. Gil took a deep breath and looked directly at Aldrich before he began to talk again.

"Dad, I think I may have found the one that would make you proud of me. And don't give me that look. I know you've heard the last song about the one that didn't last long and dumped me for that prissy guy I'm forced to call a cousin. But I promise that this one's different, I can tell by the way she says my name." Gilbert smiled at his father as his phone started blasting the song Canadian Please.

"Birdie!" he cried as he answered the call. The others were silent as Gil continued to talk to his girlfriend on the other side of the line. After a few minutes of exchanged words the call ended and Gil turned to find them still staring at him.

"I love it when she calls my phone," He continued. "If you couldn't tell, that was her own ring tone. If that ain't love, then I don't know what is. I know that on long drives home from business trips, as soon as I arrive home and open the door she'll be back into my arms for sure."

The others watched in awe as Gilbert got up and went to help their newly arrived guests unpack their car of more water toys, junk food, and more booze. Aldrich didn't need anything else from Gilbert, he was already proud of his son.

* * *

To say that Gilbert was angry was an understatement. Running into Elizaveta was one thing, but having her insult Madeline was another.

"She' got that smile that could make that most senile annoying Arthur bite his tongue." Elizaveta snorted and started to walk away.

"I'm not done! She's got eyes comparable to the northern lights and it doesn't stop there." Elizaveta was shaking in rage as her ex-boyfriend held her tightly in her place.

"Man I swear she's got porcelain skin. And compared to you, she's a ten. She's even got her own song on our newest album." Elizaveta had always wanted The Bad Touch Trio to write and dedicate a song for her to be sung in front of millions of fans. "I'm moving on."

Elizaveta stood for a while after Gilbert let her go. Eventually she found the will to move away form Gil.

"She's got the cutest laugh I've ever heard and we can be on the phone for hours not saying anything important. And I still cherish every moment." Liz had stopped walking but refused to turn to look at Gil. "When I start to build my future she's the main component. Call it dumb, call it luck, call it _love, _or whatever you call it. But everywhere I go I keep her picture in my wallet like here."

Elizaveta couldn't get Gilbert to carry her photo in his wallet no matter how much she begged when they were together. Wiping the angry tears from her face, she walked away. This time for good, she got married to Gilbert's cousin Roderich four months later.

* * *

"Take a look at my girlfriend, she's the only one I got. Ba ba da da." Sung The Bad Touch Trio as millions of fans cheered from the stands and ground floor.

"Not much of a girlfriend, I never seem to get a lot. Ba ba da da." Madeline, Lovina, and Jeanne all blushed back stage.

"Take a look at my girlfriend, she's the only one I got. Ba ba da da. Not much of a girlfriend, I never seem to get a lot. Ba ba da da." The cheers grew louder as the song ended and the trio left the stage.

After the concert Gilbert finally proposed to Madeline and Jeanne went into labor casing Francis to freak out and drive like one of the Italian twins as he drove his wife to the nearest hospital.

**~Fin~**

* * *

So how'd I do? I actually liked how it turned out. And I so would end it with Jeanne going into labor. XD


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